Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dan's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, November 24th, 2002
7:55 pm	Newest Entry Ever The sun had fallen below the tree line hours ago, or that was my closest guess. The grandfather clock in the musty hallway was caked in a thick layer of dry grime that rose in plumes whenever the creaky floorboards swayed with the howling of the outside. The glass face was shattered and the intricate hands rested infinitely on 8:16. The only light fell in splotches out of a broken skylight not even 10 feet above. My breath came in sporadic bursts and my wrists ached where the blood rushed. My head was throbbing and I absently massaged it while I surveyed the clock. My nerves were taut, but conditioned to the loathsome sounds of the wind. I could only think of boats booming their deep voices in a foggy waterway so that only snatches of it reached your ears. Or the songs of the whales, those melancholy cries that somehow rise out the depths of the sea. It was an eerie noise, hushing the crunch of the footsteps I knew were loudening. They had cornered me in this place, and that scared me much more than the wind. Their horrible grasping hands and colorless eyes resonated with the pounding of the headache. I fell softly against the wall next to the clock and wiped sweat from my brow. I wheezed hoarsely and my eyes darted back to the door I entered from.  Running, feet racing blindly through shadowed underbrush and whipping evergreens, I shot through the woods. My pulse filled my ears and the only other sound I could hear was my own wheezing. I struggled for each breath through choked lungs. Dew hung in the air and on the leaves, coating me with a layer of cold. My foot struck an uprooted tree and I went sprawling. On the ride over, my knee smashed into the wood and I screamed in pain and surprise. My hands were stretched palms down to break my fall but only caught the ripping gravel and soggy loam. My face rebounded of the ground with a whiplash motion and I coughed loose earth from my mouth and throat. I heaved myself onto my back and prayed aloud. Through my whisperings I heard the crunch of approaching footfalls.  I sobbed feverishly as I banged my aching head against the musky wood paneling. My voice quavered in between quick heaves of air. My heart heatedly raced the devil. Sweat drenched my open shirt mingling with the dry blood that was caked there. Fingers of the blood had rolled down my chest and soaked my white collared shirt a faded pink. One hand held the unbuttoned bottom of my shirt and twisted the fabric nervously. The other was motionless, my fingers biting into the rusted metal of the trigger. My tears stung the wounds of my face and I managed to let out a strained “why” in the midst of my weeping. I lowered my head until my chin rested on my chest, and felt the hot tears slip down onto my bare stomach. My eyes were open the whole time, peering unheedingly at that door. The sting of the tears was numbed by my fear, and I didn’t blink at all. Through my matted bangs I stared a hole through that door, waiting in deathly fear. I was engulfed in the fear, drowning in the void of loneliness, when you realize that no one is going to come and save you.  Crawling through the muddy loam as I tried to make love to the ground, I wriggled so painstakingly slow. Not even an inch a minute, I lay with my muscles aching from their spring-loaded tensing. I held my breath with my all seeping strength as my lungs burst pain into my chest and cast black stars like shooting needles in my eyes. Silence fluttered in my ears and drowned out the beating of my heart. Sweat streaked my face and burned my eyes but I didn’t blink. Somewhere, although I couldn’t see or hear them, I knew they were there. I felt it, deep in the base of my neck and spine, and it tingled as it sent primal waves of fear through my body. All the hair on my body shot up and the chilly air was suddenly sticky and warm. My hands shook as they gripped the dirt in white claws sending tremors up to my shoulders. I looked all around and snapped my head back to listen to the slight wind that had begun to whisper through the dead underbrush.  I wanted to kill the pain. The thought hammered in my head in time with my heart. The chipped stock of the rifle lay on the table in the dark. The ground was cool earth, packed by the weight of the walls and pillars. Water dripped down the stone walls in cool sweating beads. I reached out for the solidity in hopes of support. I noticed through my wheezing retches that I was soaking. My bangs were stuck to my forehead by sweat and a film of moisture lined my puffed eyes. I cried for the millionth time that night, and it still didn’t ease it. The pain lingered through my tears, unhindered by any emotion except fear. When fear gripped my spine and clenched my neck, the pain disappeared. It was pushed out of my mind by animal instinct. I was hunted, and now I lay cornered. I closed my watering eyes and inhaled the chalky air that hung like a noose. I swallowed hard and coughed on my spit. I grabbed the rifle in both hands and turned the barrel towards myself. My fists tightened on the gun and I whimpered almost inaudibly. Slowly I maneuvered my hands into position and pulled them towards me. When I opened my mouth I tasted the rusty metal of the tip. I gagged on the strength of the sensation. The tears never stopped.  I was running on dead feet. I couldn’t feel either of my legs as they doggedly continued. My wind was gone forever, but something had replaced the oxygen. Adrenaline had run its short course, like a rapid, but I still stumbled on. The power was something that only prey can feel. Branches whipped my face and I feebly covered my face from the stinging pines and nettles. Dead underbrush crunched and lashed my legs, ripping my pants to expose scarlet underneath. Leaves rained from the rustled trees down on me, and I dared not lift my gaze because of what my imagination thought I’d see. The demons of my mind had left little room for worry about my body, and instead plagued by sanity. Almost automatically I raised my eyes. Black masses hung almost 20 feet above. They swayed with the trees hypnotic dancing, suspended by stems almost. When I was almost under them, I screeched in horror. Overhead dozens of bodies hung with their necks skewed. Men dangled with faces painted with blood, some had dark splotches over their unclothed chests. One arm hung out of its socket for eternity, another sported a gaping hole of ligament and sinew where the appendage was rested. Legs were mutilated into shreds of skin and bone, the blood drained out onto the forest floor beneath. I vomited when I saw the desecrated bodies of women hanging beside their male counterparts. One was devoid of the chest, appearing to have two large dark circles in the place of breasts. Another was just a perforated torso, near white from lack of blood. In the center there was a smaller body swinging, that of a child with a ripped teddy bear hung beside it. I choked on my screaming. The blackness swarmed me and flew past the spittle of my gaping mouth into my being. My skin was torn and shredded by jagged talons and incisors. Predatory jaws sank into my drained flesh. My own teeth dug into my bottom lip and drew what little blood I had. I was overcome by snarling and howling, echoing through the dark woods surrounding me. I felt my muscles being torn. My eyes rolled into the back of my head until only the whites remained. My voice had fled with my blood. Adrenaline shot through my veins, but without liquid to run with, it sputtered unused. And although my body had entered the cold depths of lunatic horror, where feeling is numbed to animalistic spurts of terror mixed with divine interventions of clarity. As I was thrust back centuries of evolution, my mind stood stationary. Peering down, not concerned as much as curious, I saw my skin being ripped to pieces by hundreds of blurry silhouettes. They danced in macabre circles around my supine form, screeching at their catch. My body had blacked out, so to speak. I saw myself, felt myself, lying there with my pints of my blood soaking what tatters remained on my back. I was scared, but behind that lurked the calm. After hours, they stopped their feeding. I lay there in a scarlet pool, sucking in the horrid tasting fluid through my clenched teeth every second I fought for air. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 27th, 2002
4:42 pm	“Same old stuff they always throw at you. Pre-processed mass-produced synthetic goodness. Not too important in the grand scheme, but seeing how I’m not important in the grand scheme either…” I had worked at the same job for going on the better part of a year. I didn’t intend for that to sound agitated or whiny, it’s just the way it came out. I like my job, the ease it allows. Repetition of the basics half the time, talking about nothing the other half. But I like it regardless. In those hours of mindless labor, you don’t lose your mind you merely lose your senses. Losing your mind is like losing control, and my condition is nothing like that. If I had lost control, I would’ve been fired long ago for a decrease in productivity. No, this is like getting lost in your own thoughts. With little to do but explore your inner-self, I’ve gotten used to the dulling of the outside world. The bells and whistles become soundless in the void, as do the rhythmic movements of my arms. It’s a robotic state of being, living without a soul. My worn shoes don’t weigh down my feet as I float into dreamland. It sounds cheesy like an after school Disney movie, but it’s a simple pleasure of mine. It’s not possible to share it with anyone else, my mind. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
8:44 pm	Little of this and that “Same old stuff they always throw at you. Pre-processed mass-produced synthetic goodness. Not too important in the grand scheme, but seeing how I’m not important in the grand scheme either…” I had worked at the same job for going on the better part of a year. I didn’t intend for that to sound agitated or whiny, it’s just the way it came out. I like my job, the ease it allows. Repetition of the basics half the time, talking about nothing the other half. But I like it regardless. In those hours of mindless labor, you don’t lose your mind you merely lose your senses. Losing your mind is like losing control, and my condition is nothing like that. If I had lost control, I would’ve been fired long ago for a decrease in productivity. No, this is like getting lost in your own thoughts. With little to do but explore your inner-self, I’ve gotten used to the dulling of the outside world. The bells and whistles become soundless in the void, as do the rhythmic movements of my arms. It’s a robotic state of being, living without a soul. My worn shoes don’t weigh down my feet as I float into dreamland. It sounds cheesy like an after school Disney movie, but it’s a simple pleasure of mine. It’s not possible to share it with anyone else, my mind. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 7th, 2002
7:40 pm	listless writing Things got messed shortly after that. We were dropped 2 miles from the plant, a 6-man team hired under lowest bid by a government whose name we weren't priviledged to learn. The other 5 guys were strangers to me, partners only in the lightest of senses. They were non-descript people who I could care less about. Faces blurred by masks and black paint, sharp voices dulled by the muffling of the helicopter rotors and the fabric suspended over their mouths. Our uniforms were rigid and militaristic, with an air of professionality in the placement of the fragmentation grenades and the smoke canisters over our kevlar jackets. Hunting knives and flashlights were held immobile by jet black straps. Long silencers adorned our sub-machine guns, not glistening because of the dull gray spray paint that was applied to them. That was the extent of our equipment; no maps, no ammo, no first aid, no communication devices. We were trained for these situations, but we were grossly unprepared for what these same situations present. Immediately, everything was down hill. I was the 4th off the chopper, falling heavily into a field of dead grain. My legs felt the shock of the frozen ground and I pitched forward. Bracing myself with one arm I opened my eyes to chaos. The bright flashes of tracers divided the sky as muzzles to my right spit lightning towards our position. I was used to the noise, the roar of combustion. My heart was beating at least double the normal rate, pumping adrenaline almost as fast as the spraying bullets. I had joined for this excitement. It courses through your whole system and fills you with a huge amount of pure energy. You feel invicible. It's one of the greatest things in the world. But still, it's no excuse to lose you're head, which is exactly what one of my members did. He was acting like a psychopath; I had seen it before in the eyes of kids fresh out of their collective mother's arms and thrown onto ground zero. I used to be like that, I'm lucky I survived it at all. Still, we were craftsmen of our chosen art, no longer neophyte thumb-suckers. We shouldn't be acting like that. As I pressed myself as close to the ground as was physically possible, I couldn't help but admire the moron. He had let go a war cry and plunged headlong into the overgrown weeds, searching in his blood-red daze for any excuse to open fire. I watched as he squeezed off a dozen shots into the thick foliage, and then disappear in the smoke and shadows of the lunar rays. Bullets streaked to where I was pinned down. I wondered if it was the opposition shooting, or if it was him. Rolling to my back I slithered through the field inch by inch. I heard a voice calling in English and approached. It was one of mine, grasping his knee as blood spurted erratically out. In the quick flash of gunfire I saw his pallid skin pierced by a jagged bone. He was gritting his teeth against a pain I had never witnessed. When he screamed, spittle flew out. He was halfway covered by the low hanging branches of a dead tree. Bullets hissed into the hollow trunk only to emerge from the other side. He was in a rought spot, but not exactly helpless. I quickly analyzed the situation, worrying that my lack of action would cost him his life. I don't know why I felt so sympathetic to that man at that moment, I had been apathetic 10 minutes past. Maybe it was the labored breathing that escaped his lips, his voice hoarse from screaming for help. His eyes were wide with panic, but he didn't cry. I wanted to help this man go back to the safety of everything he left behind. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 30th, 2002
7:27 pm	helter-skelter Allright, settle down. And on that night time stood still, side shattered glass and broken will, these actions flow unspoken for, cause words unheard can do no more, but simmer in my throat tonight, burned dead by cast down ivory light, and no goodbyes were said this time, forever lost you can't be mine. It's impossible to get out of my head. I'll stare off into the sun, my eyes searching for something that's not there. And I can't find it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 21st, 2002
12:02 am	immediate I think I’m lucky that I have a secret space inside my head where I keep those feelings that were never meant to see light I have to excercise my frustration and words just don't appeal to me. My thoughts are of things impossible. They lose substance coming from my mouth, so why bother saying something worthless? (Comment on this)
Friday, April 12th, 2002
11:24 pm	Looking out the 4 windows in front of me makes me realize how nice of a view this actually is. Everything's orange from the street lamps, and it's not what I'm used to. I'm not tired at all, which is a shame. I finally saw Shaolin Soccer, and it lived up to its hype. Tomorrow should be good, same goes for the rest of this week. Yeah, so Current Music: "1,2,3,4" by Ozomatli (Comment on this)
Monday, April 8th, 2002
5:43 pm	Stuff's addictive Name: Dan Nicknames: jeez...candlesticks, corky 4b, albino boy, Height: 6'0 Hair Color: blonde Eye Color: i dunno Siblings/age: tom, 21 Do they look like you: yeah, so much so that it's scary Righty or Lefty: ambi Hobbies: martial arts, music, writing, What's your sign: scorpio ************************************************************** ON FRIENDS... ************************************************************** Friend(s) that looks most like you: none really Friend(s) you go to for advice: ah man, i don't want to mention names Have the most fun with: all of them Friend(s) you have dreams about: i don't remember any Friend(s) you tell your dreams to: all Friend(s) you tell your secrets to: no secrets a secret to me ************************************************************** ON PREFERENCES... ************************************************************** Chocolate milk or hot chocolate?: hot chocolate Rather marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend?: perfect friend Sappy/action/comedy/horror?: action comedy Ocean or pool?: a pool filled with sea water Vanilla/chocolate/strawberry: vanilla Rock/ska/punk/rap/r&b/alternative/techno/folk/swing?? all the above Night or day: day Dressed or undressed?: dressed Eyes open or closed?: both at times Bunk bed or waterbed?: bunk bed Fly or breathe underwater: fly ************************************************************** WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE.... ************************************************************** Color?: silver Number?: 3 Drink?: water Alcholic drink?: none Animal?: monkey Sound?: birds singing group??: don't have one Song?: I don't know Book?: Catch-22 Movie?: The Killer, The Princess Bride, TV show?: Local Access Radio station??: Emerson's station Place?: the moon Flower? dandelion Scent?: pine trees ************************************************************** IN THE FUTURE... ************************************************************** What's your house gonna look like?: it's going to have a basement Where are you gonna live?: in a house, i hope How many kids?: man, i don't know Names?: I don't know...manuel? College: Roger Williams What are you gonna do?: Something with adventure ************************************************************** ON RELATIONSHIPS... ************************************************************** What does your ideal girlfriend/boyfriend look like?: It doesn't matter too much How do they act?: Like themselves Do you like to call or be called?: both How would you want to be asked out?: over the phone or in person How do you want to propose/be proposed to: by hiring a sky writer, i'd like to apologize to my future wife, whoever she may be Make a move or wait?: it depends on the feeling What's the first thing you notice in guys/girls?: personality and looks, they can cancel each other out What do you like most about them?: about who? Ever been in love?: I think so ************************************************************** IF YOU COULD... ************************************************************** Live anywhere, where would it be?: next to a stream Buy a car, what would it be?: a jeep Dye your hair one color, what would it be?: burgundy Have a tattoo, where/what would it be?: above the crook of my elbow, a skeleton mariachi Turn into any animal what would it be?: an ant Live with one person for the rest of your life,who would it be?: heh *************************************************************** NAME ONE THING... ************************************************************** you love: life in general you're embarrassed about: what i've said you wish you hadn't done, but did: 10th grade you wish you had done, but didn't: 9th grade you REALLY wanna do?: be something you did yesterday?: bertucci's that's hard for you to do: say what i mean that annoys you: picking on the underdog that turns you on: laughter that turns you off: drunkeness ************************************************************** WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU.... ************************************************************** Get up?: rub my eyes Get in the shower?: yawn Go to school/work?: chat it up Get home from school/work?: open the windows ************************************************************** WHO ARE YOU... ************************************************************** Afraid of?: i don't know yet in love with?: heh, you know envious of?: a lot of people mad or frustrated w/?: myself a lot, abusive people thinking of?: my brother Current Music: "The Ancient Art of Adlibbing" by Freestyle Fellowship (Comment on this)
5:28 pm	Potato Salad The CD that... -reminds you of your best friend[s]: Milo Goes To College by Descendents -reminds you of your family: Sing Along With Los Straitjackets -reminds you of your childhood: Apollo 18 by They Might Be Giants -you listen to while sad: Blood Sugar Sex Magick by RHCP -you listen to while happy: Quality Cotrol by Jurassic 5 -you listen to while restless: Borders and Boundaries by Less Than Jake -you listen to while lonely: Minor Threat Complete Discography -you listen to while angry: CKY Vol 1 -reminds you of someone's death: none -you sing in the shower: Quannum Spectrum -you dance to: Music 311 -reminds you of school: 40 oz. to Freedom by Sublime -reminds you of your first love/crush: Proof That The Youth of Today Are Revolting by Five Irony Frenzy -reminds you of an event: Rock And Roll Part Three by Ozma -you would want at your funeral: Kitaro Full Moon Story -cheers you up: See first love/crush -depresses you: almost anything emo -you will never grow tired of: Ozomatli (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 6th, 2002
11:37 am	You've been listening to Def Leppard too much It's official, I am going to college. They've got a seat saved for me. I'll have to make the most of it. I don't know what I want to do with my life, for now I want to learn as much as I can. Once I've done that, I can see where I stand in the world. What good am I? I don't know the answer to that question, it's something I'll have to see. There's a lot of questions running through my brain that I don't have the answers to, things better left unthought. Current Music: "Santa Claus is Coming" by CKY (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 31st, 2002
11:23 am	this is what's become I see - the sky outside I find - myself having fun I want - to be content I have - too much time I wish - for adventure I hate - some people I miss - simpler times I fear - fear itself I feel- at ease I hear - the hum of the computer I smell - ok, i hope I crave - fresh air I search - for myself I wonder - if I'll ever grow up I regret - some of the choices I've made I love - some people I ache - in my clavicle I long - for open roads I am - happy I care - my people I always - smile when i mean it I am not - what i appear to be I believe - that everyone is here for a reason I have faith - in myself I cringe - at mean words I dance - like a mofo I sing - out of key I cry - not often I learn - when i'm interested I do not always - do what i'm told I succeed - when i try I fail - because i deserve to I fight - for me I write - poetry I give - in pretty easily I win - at Clue every time I lose - at every other game I never - do what I think is wrong I confuse - others I listen - to the calls I can usually be found - around here somewhere I am scared - that i won't save the world I hope - that i'm not boring you I expect - nothing in return I need - you and me (Comment on this)
Friday, March 29th, 2002
11:51 pm	I'm sorta tired, but there's people to talk to. 3 day weekend, which is nice. I was thinking that today was saturday and I was in some weird state of mind. Then I realized it was friday, and I went out to eat some cheeseburgers. Well, that last part never happened (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 24th, 2002
7:38 pm	Moon The moon was cold that night. Beautiful, but frigid. The cold light drifted down through space into my bones. The heater of the car flicked on to no effect. Music was turned loud, rattling the doors of the car. The notes lost their effect in the pale shadows of the moon. Their beauty couldn?t compare with the moon. The glass dements the glow, so the window lowers. In the freezing wind the moon rests humbly above the waters. Lips feign words yet unsaid. Clouds dot the horizon, making room for the celestial hosts. Eyes dart between the road and the skies. The coldness whitens knuckles until their hue is that of the moon?s. Jet black and silver streaks sear past, but only the fair beams remain unchanged by speed. The undefined patterns never shift in the dark night sky. But tomorrow it will all be gone only to return again. Current Music: "Human Drive in Hi-Fi" by CKY (3 Comments |Comment on this)
10:56 am	Kazaa is being unruly right when I need it the most. How the hell am I 'sposed to get 1920s music if Kazaa won't work? Goddamnit, i don't know. Putting off doing this project because I really don't care about it. I mean, I'm grateful that it's actually interesting and has some leeway, but there's too many other distractions. Maybe if I let it sit for 20 minutes things will start rolling. That's the ticket. Current Music: "Fair Weather Associates" by Del the Funkee Homosapien (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 16th, 2002
3:09 pm	It's saturday, it's raining, it's warm. Today is rumored to hold repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, and peace. Sounds like a good time for sleep, but I'm not tired. I hate sleeping, you miss out on so much. I should be out looking for a job. Maybe I'll go out on the roof...yeah, that's probably the best thing to do. Time to say hello to wasted hours. Current Music: "Lost In A Contraption" by CKY (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 12th, 2002
8:21 pm	being unoriginal 000)What time is it?: 8:22? 001) Full name: dan 002) Sex: m 003) Birthday: oct 27 1983 004) Height: 6 005) Weight: not enough 006) Hair color: blonde 007) Eye color: hazel 008) Ethnic background: german and danish 009) Birthplace: boston 010) Hometown: my town 013) Sibling(s): 1 brother >>>>>[Favorites] 014) Song: changes a lot 015) Band/singer: too many to list 016) Actor: chow yun-fat 017) Actress: i don't know 018) Movie: too many to list 019) Book: catch-22 021) Clothing brand name: doesn't matter 022) Animal: monkey 023) Day of the week: friday 024) Color: blue 025) Food: chinese 026) Class in school: english 027) Store: kung fu video 028) City: boston 029) Country: USA 030) Vacation spot: tokyo 031) Sport: basketball 032) Game [as in "board", or otherwise]: mario bros. 033) Car: SUV 034) Internet site: none 035) Ice cream flavor: vanilla 036) Season: spring 037) Month: june 038) Holiday: halloween 039) Flower: dandelions 040) Cartoon: tom and jerry 041) TV show: Fishing with John 042) Fictional character: the Scarecrow 043) Perfume/cologne: whatever 044) Hobby: you tell me 045) Flavor: minty 046) Scent: pine needles 047) Quote: a little business, a little action 048) Word(s): man >>>>>[Either/Or] 049) Hot or cold: cold 050) Sweet or sour: sweet 051) Spicy or bland: bland 052) Fast or slow: it matters on what 053) Black or white: gray 054) Is the glass half-full or half-empty: half full 055) Long or short: long 056) More or less: less 057) Soft or hard: it depends 058) Rough or smooth: smooth 059) Air, land or sea: land 060) Light or dark: light 061) Straight or curly: straight 062) Loud or quiet: sometimes loud, sometimes quiet 063) Boys or girls: huh? 064) Fat or thin: doesn't matter 067) Day or night: both 068) Breakfast, lunch or dinner: dinner 069) Past, present or future: future 070) Radio or CD: CD 071) MTV or VH1: neither 072) Brush or Comb: neither 073) Slide, see-saw or swings: swings 074) Doing or watching: depends on what it is 075) Mind or body: combination 076) Consciousness, subconsciousness or unconsciousness: sub 077) Feet or hands: depends 078) Water or juice: water 079) Ocean or pool: ocean 080) Treadmill or road: road 081) Speaker-phone or hand-held: hand held 082) AIM or ICQ: both 083) Rain or shine: shine 084) Cat or dog: dog 085) Innie or outie: innie 086) Inside or outside: outside 087) Up/high or down/low: down/low 088) Closet or dresser-drawers: closet 089) Bed frame or only mattress: only 090) Silver or gold: silver Current Music: "A New Hope" by Five Iron Frenzy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 6th, 2002
7:04 pm	Vocal chords are shot, I can't even raise my voice without it losing steam. But it was worth it. Accepted into 2 colleges, so I can relax for the remainder of the year. One of the colleges invited me to a dinner, but I'm not sure if I want to partake in the hour long drive. It figures both colleges are out of state, when I was opting for a school with some proximity. Liberal arts is the program I'm looking into, but beyond that I'm next to clueless. Looking forward to sunny Florida in 2 months. I've been wanting to do some international travelling, but that is a far-shot. I always pictured myself as someone who'd settle down in one place at an early age, but I might be changing all that. Who knows? Current Music: "All Mixed Up" by 311 (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 24th, 2002
9:16 pm	On the ride home I lost my train of thought the street was tinted orange and the sky a black I can?t remember what I said back there and my words are killed before being spoken My eyes were as heavy as my conscience navigating the night by routine only Sheets of rain clutter my approaching dreams and the smoky jazz song seeps through this car I guess I never will learn from the past (Comment on this)
9:15 pm	My thoughts have fled my head And my heart drifts up from where I kept it hidden To take its place Behind my eyes Beats my heart waiting for that time When it must leave It will come too soon Falling again but not before The pain begins (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 21st, 2002
4:48 pm	I forgot almost all of my things at school. That doesn't bother me too much, but I will have to wing it on quoting for my essay. Things are looking good, which is always nice. I don't take enough time to sit back and appreciate everything that's come my way. I don't know where this situation popped up from, but I'm grateful it decided to visit. Hopefully my good mood will rub off on people, like that movie Pay It Forward. I never saw it, but I saw the commercials, and that's basically the same thing. I've got 40 bucks in my wallet that are begging to be spent. My best guess is that within 2 weeks I'll again have a steady income. It feels good, I'd like the chance to be working again, it's a good way to forget your problems. And I don't mind the boredom that accompanies work, I have ingenuity and I'll find something to pass the time. Current Music: "Baseball" by Ozma (Comment on this)